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It's easy to praise - it's a lot more difficult to create a perfect, business-like, not offensive comment. To make your criticism fruitful, use these options for simple criticism, not abusive or insulting.
For criticism to be fruitful, not abusive or objectionable, you should use the following simple rules.
1. First, remove faulty "stings" from criticism, emphasizing constructive proposals.
2. It is appropriate to comment in private, so that the pride of criticism is not hurt.
3. Try to understand the partner's point of view honestly and seriously; Discuss the pros and cons; Show sympathy for your thoughts and desires.
4. Show respect for your partner's opinion without immediately and harshly rejecting him, even if he finds you absurd. Give an opportunity to talk till the end and do not try to prove, but find out the facts.
5. Conduct the conversation in a friendly, firm and calm tone. Try to start with a topic that you and the other person agree on. Whenever possible, start with questions of the same opinion, which can elicit an affirmative answer and thus set your partner to agree. If a person says "no" from the beginning of the conversation, it is difficult to explain it, because pride does not allow him to give up the opinions expressed, even if he feels that he was initially wrong. Leave the self-respect of the negotiator.
6. If you want to tell someone your mistake, then praise and honestly identify its merits.
7. Try to do it indirectly, drawing people's attention to your mistakes. For example, remember a similar case.
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8. Use Criticism - "Ricoche": Criticism of the works of an abstract (imaginary) person.
9. In the course of discussion, it is necessary to put forth your opinion (disagreement, criticism) without imposing.
10. Do not use inappropriate methods to strengthen the argument. Arguments like "how many times have I told you" are undesirable. Raising a voice is also a wrong way to amplify a statement. If you want to tell your partner something rude, disrespectful, take your time - take a few deep breaths first and exhale or silently count to 10-30, do some smooth movements with your tongue in your mouth, yourself Call something figurative, but a harmless expression.
11. Introduce psychological breaks for those who are in a state of quarrel. They will help reduce emotional intensity, turn to the logic of things, to self-esteem, perhaps to advice from loved ones. Do not demand immediate, momentary admission of mistakes from a partner, with your opinion on the issue, keep your point. Psychologically it is difficult, give time to think, not insist.
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13. Critical as well as argumentative self-criticism is desirable. Before criticizing the other, talk about your mistakes. The critic's admission of guilt of his or her mistakes allows criticism to be viewed less quickly, and self-esteem is less injured.
14. make it easy to correct the defect. Many times people drown in despair at the disappointment of their situation. Do not put "pressure" on the psyche, but help find a way.
15. Talk only about matter, not personal: criticize actions, not the person. Give him a face saving opportunity.
It is important to remember the following pattern: The more a person is excited, the more his self-esteem gets hurt, the less sensitive he is to reasoning, the more biased and subjective he is, and the more essential he is.
If you notice that someone is very excited in an argument, it is better to resume the conversation a second time.